Friendship, the result of sharing

“Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings," Friedrich Nietzsche. I had to think about this one for a while. Certainly "shared joys" make a friend. I still remember a university bud­dy who was handicapped by some unusual neurological problem and, since he could no longer walk, had to be carried. I was his number one source of transportation and had him on my back for two years. Every now and then we would double date and I would carry him on my back downtown Seattle on the way to a cinema. When people took more than a casual look at us he would point down at me, grin and say, "He lost the bet!" Jack was a special friend and all our good times together strengthened that relationship. When he died in the 80’s his family placed a huge sign in his office window that read, He's walking!!  I’ll see Jack in heaven and we’ll have a great time “reliving” our “shared joys.”
       But what about "shared sufferings?" I've had those as well, and in my experience they have played pretty much the same role as the joys we’ve shared. I could describe some but they're too personal for this medium. But I can share how they affected me. Times of suffering that we experience together with a friend inevitably drawn us even closer. Each of us is moved by the desire to help the other with his difficulty. As we travelled through the difficult time we would share the joy of being in it together and when it was past we would look back with both relief and joy.
       For the Christian there are several verses of Scripture that speak of the joy of shared suffering. In Romans 8:17 the apostle Paul writes to the church in Rome that if they "share in [Christ's] sufferings," they will also "share in his glory.” The suffering to which Paul refers is the opposition of others to the message of the crucifix­ion of Christ (ranging all the way from social avoidance to martyr­dom.) Experience convinces me that difficulties like that strengthen my friendship with God. It used to be that on Pearl Harbor day the media would report that survivors of that tragedy were having their ashes returned and buried under water in the USS Arizona so they could be with their buddies who went down with the ship. What a great example of shared suffering building a lasting friendship.
       It's remarkable that friendship can be the product of two op­posite kinds of experiences – shared joys and shared suffering. The point is that friendship is the fruit of sharing and it doesn't matter whether the experience was good or bad. No doubt about it, we were made for one another!