When does 1 + 1 = 1?

People have a number of reasons for asking a question. Sometimes it is for information, such as “How do I get to town?” But at other times it can serve quite a different purpose. And that was what was happening when one day some Pharisees asked Jesus, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for no particular reason?” Their purpose in asking was not to learn, but to lay a trap. They knew full well that a man could write his wife a certificate of divorce he “finds something indecent about her” (Deut. 24:1). And they also knew that the school of Shammai understood the “something indecent” as immorality on her part while the more liberal school of Hillel held it to be anything that displeased him. So the purpose was not to learn something they didn’t know, but to get Jesus to commit himself on an issue so his position could be used against him.
       Jesus “answered” their question by asking them what the Law of Moses had to say about it. While Moses allowed an exception due to the hardness of heart, that was not what God intended. In the beginning “God made one out of two,” therefore, “let not anyone separate them again (Matt. 19:8; Jesus, In His Own Words, p. 143). It’s the “one out of two” that intrigues me. What does that mean? In marriage, do husband and wife become one in the sense of sharing a last name and living in the same house or is it something far more substantial? In the beginning God created Adam, and that was fine but it wasn’t enough. I’m not sure way back then whether God intended Adam to live forever, but in any case it’s clear that it was “not good for the man to be alone” (Gen. 2:18) so, like a skilled surgeon, God put him into a deep sleep, took one of his ribs and created Eve (Gen. 2:21-22). While God’s immediate purpose for Adam was to take care of life in the Garden, the union of man and wife was a further step forward. In making “one out of two” he did exactly that; man and wife became a single entity and were intended to remain that way.
       Something wonderful happens in marriage – man and wife become one. God takes two and makes “one out of two,” at least that’s his intention. Two people arrive at marriage from two different backgrounds two ways of handling life, two ways of seeing the world. It’s not that these are so distinctly different that adjustment is not possible (of course that can happen) but they are still different. However this should be considered a blessing, not a problem, because the two involved can have the rich experience of bring the benefits of both into one. Of course, this involves change and that can be somewhat scary at times although it is a maturing process in which each becomes a more informed and wiser person.
       Our oneness in Christ provides a pattern for the “oneness” in marriage, although there is the distinct difference in that he, being perfect, does not change. We do the changing. As we grow spiritually we are gradually being changed into his likeness. Paul begins his famous passage in Philippians 2 with “Your attitude toward one another should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” Then, using a primitive hymn, he tells the story of how God’s very son came among us as a humble servant and took on himself the penalty of our sin. It was that unbelievable act of love that defines what it means to have the “mind of Christ.” We become “one with him” as our way of life begins increasingly to be more like his.
       And in a somewhat similar way, although we have moved from the realm of the spirit to the “real world’ where we live, the newly married couple begin a process in which each relates to the other as both do individually to Christ. The unity God desires is a mutual self-giving and understanding of the other that reflects his own. When God makes “one out of two” it works out best for us and at the same time brings pleasure to him. That’s a hard combination to beat.